100 Funny Coffee Puns and One-Liners

We have gathered 100 funny coffee jokes, one liners, and the best coffee puns to freak you out. These coffee jokes are great for both kids and adults to enjoy! All of these coffee one liners, puns, and funny jokes are generally family friendly and can be enjoyed by people of all ages.

Puns about Coffee

Here is the list of the best coffee puns. So sit back, relax, find your favorite puns about coffee, and get ready to enjoy a pun-tastic journey into the world of coffee!

1. Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged!
2. How do you organize a coffee heist? Brew-dunit!
3. What do you call a sad coffee? Depresso.
4. Why did the coffee go to therapy? It had bean through a lot.
5. How does a coffee break up with its lover? It gives them the cold brew.
6. What’s a coffee’s favorite type of workout? Espresso-cise!
7. What did the coffee say to the coffee grinder? “I find you very grinding.”
8. What do you call two coffee beans who are dating? Ro-mantic.
9. What did one coffee say to the other during an argument? “Let’s not espresso ourselves like that.”
10. Why did the coffee call the police? It got mugged.
11. How do you make a decaf coffee? You take away its “D” and “F”!
12. Why did the coffee file a police report? Someone mugged it.
13. What did the coffee say to the cream? “You’re the one for me, cream and sugar.”
14. How did the coffee show its love? It said, “Words cannot espresso how much you mean to me.”
15. What do you call a sad cup of coffee? A blue mocha.
16. Why did the coffee go to the party? It heard the atmosphere was brew-tiful.
17. How do you know coffee has a dark sense of humor? It’s always brewing trouble.
18. What do you call a cow who has had too much coffee? Over-moo-gulated!
19. Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged in a dark alley.
20. What’s a coffee’s favorite book? “Mocha-hontas and the Beanstalk.
21. How do you catch a squirrel with coffee? Climb a tree and act like a nutty espresso.
22. What did the coffee say to the syrup? “I love you a latte.
23. Why was the coffee always getting into trouble? It was a real trouble-brewer.
24. How does a coffee woo its sweetheart? It whispers sweet nothings: “You mocha me crazy!”
25. What do you call a coffee bean that gets a promotion? A grande success!
26. Why did the coffee go to therapy? It had too many grounds for concern.
27. How do you make a coffee float? Just add a little cream and sugar—voila, buoy-ancy!
28. What did the coffee say to the coffee filter? “I can’t espresso myself without you.”
29. What do you call a coffee that’s not yet fully grown? A little bean sprout.
30. Why did the coffee go to the police academy? It wanted to be an espresso officer.
31. How did the coffee propose to its lover? With a mug-nificent diamond ring!
32. What’s a coffee’s favorite type of TV show? A brewing reality show.
33. Why did the coffee file a police report? It was creamed by a hit-and-run driver.
34. How do you make a coffee that’s as strong as steel? You add iron fillings—now it’s ferro-brew-some!
35. What’s a coffee’s favorite karaoke song? “Don’t Stop Be-leafing” by The Bean-tles.
36. Why did the coffee file a police report? It got jacked!
37. How did the coffee propose? With a steaming hot cup of love.
38. What’s a coffee’s favorite social media platform? Snap-brew!
39. Why did the coffee file a police report? It got grounds for revenge.
40. What do you call a dog that makes coffee? A “Labra-grinder!
41. How did the coffee win the marathon? It trained grounds and pounded the pavement!
42. What’s a coffee’s favorite song to dance to? “Whip It, Whip It Good” by Devoresso.
43. Why did the coffee file a police report? It got roasted on social media.
44. What do you call a coffee bean with a sense of humor? A joke-a-latte!
45. How do you know if a coffee is shy? It gets steamed when it sees a hot cup of tea.
46. What did the coffee say when it got a promotion? “I’m brew-tiful and I bean it!”
47. Why did the coffee file a police report? It was feeling grounded.
48. How do you make a coffee smile? You add a little cream and sugar!
49. What did the coffee say to the coffee pot? “You pour thing, I love you a latte!”
50. Why did the coffee go to school? It wanted to get a little grounded.

Coffee One Liners

Here is our top list of coffee one liners. Find your favorite one-liner about coffee, enjoy, and share it with your friends and family.\

1. Coffee: the ultimate morning fuel.
2. Life without coffee is like a broken pencil—pointless!
3. Need a pick-me-up? Coffee’s got your back.
4. Coffee: the legal addiction everyone loves.
5. Don’t talk to me until I’ve had my coffee—I’m brew-tal without it!
6. Coffee is my spirit animal in a mug.
7. Coffee: the reason I can adult in the morning.
8. Decaf? No thanks, I like my coffee awake.
9. Coffee is my secret to time travel—it makes mornings disappear.
10. Espresso yourself and let the coffee do the talking.
11. Coffee: a hug in a mug.
12. Coffee is proof that miracles happen every morning.
13. Coffee: the original social network.
14. Caffeine and I go way back—we’re like best beans.
15. I don’t need an alarm clock, I have coffee on my side.
16. Coffee and I have an unbreakable bond—we stick together.
17. Coffee: the aroma of pure happiness.
18. Coffee: the official sponsor of productivity.
19. Life happens, coffee helps.
20. Without coffee, mornings would be a grind.
21. Coffee: the magic elixir of the universe.
22. I like my coffee like I like my mornings—fresh and full of possibilities.
23. Coffee: the superhero that saves the day, one cup at a time.
24. Coffee is my superpower—I can do anything after a cup.
25. Coffee: the answer to all of life’s questions before noon.
26. Rise and shine, it’s coffee time!
27. Coffee: the best way to start and end the day.
28. A cup of coffee is a small price to pay for sanity.
29. Coffee: the ultimate companion for early mornings and late nights.
30. Coffee: the unofficial language of the morning crowd.
31. Coffee: the fuel for dreams and ambitions.
32. My blood type? Coffee positive!
33. Coffee is the reason I’m upright and functioning right now.
34. Coffee: the liquid motivation that gets things brewing.
35. Coffee: where the magic happens—inside the cup.
36. Coffee: the silent supporter of all-nighters and deadlines.
37. Coffee is like a hug you can drink.
38. Coffee: my trusty sidekick for tackling the day.
39. Coffee: the key to unlocking my full potential.
40. Life is short, make it brew-tiful with a cup of coffee.

10 Best Coffee Jokes

These special coffee jokes and puns are some of our best and funniest jokes and puns about coffee!

1. Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged by a teabag!
2. What do you call a zombie who loves coffee? A de-calf-inated!
3. How does a coffee bean feel after a hard day’s work? Grounded!
4. Why don’t eggs tell jokes about coffee? They might crack it up!
5. What’s a coffee’s favorite type of footwear? Espresso shoes!
6. How do you know if a coffee bean is an introvert? It gets steamed in social situations!
7. Why did the coffee file a lawsuit? It was tired of being grounds for misunderstanding!
8. What do you call a cow who can make coffee? A barista-moo!
9. How did the coffee fix the broken mug? With a mender blend!
10. Why did the coffee file for divorce? It discovered its partner was a half-brewed liar!

10 Funny Facts about Coffee

Here are some funny and interesting facts about coffee.

1. Coffee is the reason Mondays were invented—to help people recover from weekends without caffeine.
2. Did you know that coffee beans are not actually beans? They are seeds of a fruit called the coffee cherry. Talk about a fruity start!
3. Coffee has the power to turn “I’m tired” into “I’m wired” in just a few sips.
4. If the coffee had a catchphrase, it would be “I’m brew-tiful and I bean it!”
5. The world’s largest cup of coffee could probably double as a swimming pool for ants. It was brewed in South Korea and measured over 3,700 gallons!
6. Forget the fountain of youth—coffee is the fountain of energy! It keeps you going when sleep is playing hide-and-seek.
7. Coffee can make you a morning person, even if you were born a night owl. It’s the ultimate transformation potion.
8. In the coffee kingdom, there are wizards called baristas who can magically turn beans into liquid gold. They are true coffee alchemists.
9. Coffee has the power to make you feel like you can conquer the world—until it wears off and you realize you can barely conquer a flight of stairs.
10. Coffee is like a good friend—it’s there for you in the morning, comforts you in tough times, and always brings a smile to your face. It’s the best kind of friendship brew.

Final Thoughts

We hope these coffee jokes brought a smile to your face! If you’re looking for more laughs, be sure to check out our other hilarious collections of food jokes.
Don’t forget to share with your friends and family. Have Fun!