98 Funny Hand Puns That Will Make Your Day

We have gathered funny hand jokes, hilarious one liners, and the best hand puns to cheer you up. These hand jokes are perfect for both children and adults to enjoy!

All of these hand one liners, puns, and funny jokes are generally family friendly and can be enjoyed by people of all ages.

Hand Puns

Here is the list of the best hand puns. So sit back, relax, find your favorite puns about hand, and get ready to enjoy a pun-tastic journey into the world of hand!

1. When you shake hands with a clock, time really flies.
2. I asked my hand for advice, but it just gave me a palm reading.
3. Handshakes are just palmistry for beginners.
4. Can you trust a hand that deals cards? It’s always up to something!
5. My hand is my right-hand man, always lending a hand.
6. The hand sanitizer said, “I’ve got you covered!”
7. If your hand gets lost, can you call it a “mis-hand-ling”?
8. When the hand gets tired, it takes a “palm-break.”
9. Hands are like superheroes – they always come to the “res-cue.”
10. Handshakes are basically high-fives for adults.
11. Did you hear about the hand that won the poker game? It had a royal flush!
12. My hand is always giving me a round of applause.
13. When the hand speaks, it’s sign language.
14. Don’t trust a hand that deals with a hot potato – it might drop the ball!
15. The thumb is like the VIP of the hand – it’s always “up” for anything.
16. High-five to my hand for always being on hand!
17. Hands down, the best high-five is the unexpected one.
18. When in doubt, just give it a helping hand.
19. My hand’s favorite movie? “The Palm’s Labyrinth.”
20. If you’re ever feeling lonely, just give your hand a hand to hold.
21. A clumsy hand is a “handy”-capable one!
22. My hand told me a joke, but it was a bit “palm-ful.”
23. I tried to high-five my reflection, but it left me hanging.
24. Left-handed people are always in their “right” minds.
25. My hand loves to play hide-and-seek. It’s always hiding behind something!
26. When the hand is in a hurry, it becomes a “rush-hand.”
27. Handshakes are just secret handshakes without the secret part.
28. My hand loves to lend an ear – it’s a great listener!
29. When in doubt, just throw your hands in the air like you just don’t care!
30. My hand and I have an un-“breakable” bond.
31. Handshakes are like silent agreements between palms.
32. My hand loves to catch up on the latest news – it’s a “handy” habit.
33. Hands are great at keeping secrets – they never spill the beans!
34. A hand in the bush is worth two in the palm.
35. My hand is a real “touchdown” enthusiast.
36. A hand with a plan is a hand worth shaking.
37. My hand’s favorite song? “I Want to Hold Your Hand.”
38. When life gives you lemons, make lemon handshakes!
39. Handshakes are the universal language of friendship.
40. My hand’s dream job? Being a “hand”-yman.
41. A hand is like a compass – it always points you in the right direction.
42. When the hand gets cold, it’s a “hand-icicle.”
43. My hand is a real “thumbs-up” kind of guy.
44. Handshakes: the original social network.
45. My hand and I are in cahoots – we’re always up to something!
46. A hand in need is a hand indeed.
47. My hand has a great sense of humor – it’s always giving me a hand-full of laughs.
48. Handshakes: the ultimate icebreaker.
49. My hand’s favorite dance move? The hand jive!
50. When your hand gets tired, just give it a “handshake.”

Hand One Liners

Here is our top list of hand one liners. Find your favorite one liner about hand, enjoy it, and share it with your friends and family.

51. My hand has a standing ovation for every meal.
52. Hands: the original multitool.
53. High-fiving a mirror is always a great ego boost.
54. Gloves are like socks for your hands, but less smelly.
55. If you think your hand is amazing, you should see it in 3D!
56. Handshakes are like non-verbal fist bumps.
57. Five fingers, one mission: grabbing snacks.
58. Thumbs up if you love thumbs!
59. Your hand: the most loyal selfie stick.
60. Handshakes – where germs meet their match.
61. My hand’s favorite genre? Finger-licking good food.
62. Pinky promises: legally binding in the world of friendship.
63. Gloves make your hands look like secret agents.
64. Hands: always ready for a game of rock-paper-scissors.
65. High-five etiquette: eyes on the elbow, folks!
66. When in doubt, just jazz hands it out.
67. Hands: the real keyboard warriors.
68. Left hand, right hand – both hands on deck!
69. Fingers are like tiny acrobats of the hand circus.
70. The hand is the ultimate selfie expert.
71. My hand loves applause, especially during dinner.
72. Handshakes: the original “we cool” gesture.
73. Hands are like snowflakes – no two are exactly the same.
74. Gloves are the hand’s way of dressing incognito.
75. Thumbs are the cheerleaders of the hand world.
76. Your hand: the ultimate high-five partner.
77. Handshakes make the world go ’round.
78. Hands: the real architects of air guitar solos.
79. Can’t decide? Flip a coin – it’s in your hand!
80. Hands: the unsung heroes of the clapping world.
81. Pinky power: the strongest finger in friendship.
82. Handshakes are just two hands sharing a secret.
83. Gloves are like hand hugs from the future.
84. If your hand could talk, it would have a gripping story.
85. My hand’s favorite TV show? “The Handmaid’s Tale.”
86. Hands: the world’s most expressive jazz instruments.
87. High-fiving a stranger is a trust exercise for adults.
88. Fingers: the ultimate miniature artists of the hand canvas.
89. Gloves are like hand pajamas for winter.
90. Handshakes: where trust meets the palm.

Best Hand Jokes

These unique hand jokes and puns are some of our best and funniest ones about hand!

For Kids:

91. Why did the hand go to school? Because it wanted to improve its finger-painting skills!
92. What do you call a hand that’s always telling jokes? A pun-dit!

For Teens:

93. Did you hear about the hand that became a DJ? It knew how to drop the beat!
94. How do hands stay cool in the summer? They use palm trees for shade!

For Adults:

95. My hand’s retirement plan? Becoming a palm reader – it’s got years of experience!
96. Have you heard about the restaurant that only serves hands? It’s called “Finger Food Palace.”

For Seniors:

97. Why did the elderly hand get a smartphone? To stay in touch with its “palm” friends!
98. When you’ve seen as many handshakes as I have, you start to believe in “grip-destiny.”

10 Funny Facts About Hands

Here are some funny and interesting facts about hands.

1. Your hand is made up of 27 bones, but it can still give great high-fives.
2. The skin on your hands sheds about 600,000 particles of skin every hour. It’s like your hands are in a perpetual confetti party!
3. The phrase “rule of thumb” comes from the idea that the width of your thumb can be used as a rough measurement. Just don’t measure your hand’s worth by it!
4. Ever heard of “fingerprints”? Well, not even identical twins have the same ones. Hands are the ultimate identity cards!
5. The hand has no muscles in the fingers. Instead, tendons from the forearm do all the finger-pulling magic.
6. The human hand can perform about 168 different precise movements, making it a versatile tool for anything from catching a ball to playing the piano.
7. Want to know a hand-related record? The longest fingernails ever recorded reached a whopping 29 feet, 10.1 inches! Talk about a manicure marathon.
8. The average person will spend about six months of their life waiting for red lights to turn green. That’s enough time to perfect your hand puppetry skills!
9. The first recorded handshake was in ancient Greece as a symbol of peace. Nowadays, it’s just a friendly way to spread germs – we’ve come a long way!
10. Your hand can sense even the slightest temperature difference – as little as 0.036 degrees Fahrenheit. It’s like having a built-in thermometer!

Final Thoughts

We hope these hand jokes brought a smile to your face! If you’re looking for more laughs, be sure to check out our other hilarious collections of anatomy jokes.

Don’t forget to share with your friends and family. Have Fun!