50 Funny Bald Jokes That Will Make You Laugh

We have gathered 50 funny bald jokes, hilarious one liners, and the best bald puns to cheer you up. These bald jokes are perfect for both children and adults to enjoy!

All of these bald one liners, puns, and funny jokes are generally family friendly and can be enjoyed by people of all ages.

Bald Puns

Here is the list of the best bald puns. So sit back, relax, find your favorite puns about bald, and get ready to enjoy a pun-tastic journey into the world of bald!

1. The Forehead Explorer: Why did the bald guy become an explorer? Because he had a lot of “forehead” to discover.
2. Bald and the Beautiful: He thought going bald would be the end, but he’s still a head-turner!
3. The Barber’s Paradox: A bald guy walks into a barbershop. Asks for a trim around the edges. You can’t cut what you can’t see!
4. Weather Forecast: Bald guy’s head: the only place where you can see your reflection and check if it’s raining.
5. Shampoo Scam: Why did the bald guy buy shampoo? Because he fell for a “hair-raising experience.
6. Donut Head: Why did the bald guy put a donut on his head? He wanted a “hair bun.”
7. Shine On: Why did the bald man use polish on his head? Because he wanted to think clearly.
8. Lost and Found: If you can’t find your keys, check the bald guy’s head. It’s a shiny beacon of hope!
9. Planet Head: Why did they mistake the bald guy for Mars? Too many craters!
10. Receding Airlines: His hairline didn’t just recede; it took a one-way flight!
11. Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow: Why did the bald guy carry an umbrella? He wanted portable shade.
12. Mirror, Mirror: The bald guy asked the mirror, “Who’s the shiniest of them all?
13. Ground Zero: Why do bald guys make great architects? They know all about open landscapes.
14. Bald Eagle: He’s not bald; he’s just “feathering his nest” differently!
15. Solar Power: Why did the bald guy go green? His head is already a solar panel!
16. Cue Ball: What’s the difference between a bald guy and a pool table? You actually have to aim for the holes on the table.
17. Star Gazer: Why did the bald guy become an astronaut? He wanted to be closer to the other shiny objects in the sky.
18. Fortune Teller’s Nightmare: Why don’t fortune tellers read bald guys’ futures? No hairlines!
19. Bald & Breakfast: What’s the bald guy’s favorite meal? Anything, as long as it fills the space above his neck!
20. Shine Bright: Why did the bald guy bring a ladder to the bar? He wanted to get to the “high-shine” liquors.

Bald One Liners

Here is our top list of bald one liners. Find your favorite one liner about bald, enjoy it, and share it with your friends and family.

21. Bald and proud, because hair is overrated!
22. I’m not bald; I’m just taller than my hair.
23. A bald spot is a lie detector; the bigger it gets, the more stories you have.
24. I’m so bald, that even my thoughts are transparent.
25. Some see a bald head; I see a solar panel for a love machine.
26. Why comb over when you can be free?
27. I’m not bald; I’ve just cleared my mind.
28. Baldness is the crown you never take off.
29. Why chase hair when you can chase dreams?
30. Hair’s not missing; it’s just on a permanent vacation.
31. My head is like a brand-new bowling ball, shiny and ready to strike!
32. Bald is the new black.
33. I’m not bald; I’m just a minimalist.
34. Why waste shampoo when you can save water?
35. Bald is the shortcut to maturity.
36. Not losing hair, gaining face.
37. My bald spot is a garden; a garden of freedom!
38. It’s not a receding hairline; it’s an advancing scalp.
39. Bald men are great at keeping secrets—no leaks!
40. Bald is the head that wears no hair.

10 Best Bald Jokes For Kids

These unique bald jokes and puns are some of our best and funniest ones about bald!

1. The Optimist: Why did the bald guy put a calendar on his head? He wanted to get ahead in “days,” not hair!
2. Space Jam: Why did the bald guy get kicked out of the movie theater? Because his head was too shiny, and the projection kept missing the screen!
3. The Gardener: Why did the bald guy become a gardener? Because he’s great at growing “patchy” lawns!
4. Baldman Begins: What’s a bald guy’s favorite superhero movie? “Shiny-Man”! His superpower is reflecting the sun into villains’ eyes.
5. The Chef: Why did the bald chef always have a seasoning problem? Because his salt kept slipping off his head!
6. Golf Game: Why did the bald guy always win at golf? His head was the perfect tee!
7. Hiking Trip: Why did the bald guy get lost in the woods? He couldn’t find his “hair north!”
8. Bald Mechanic: Why was the bald mechanic so good at his job? Because he knew how to keep a “tight scalp!”
9. Sea Adventure: Why did the bald guy make a terrible sailor? He couldn’t part his “hair-bor!”
10. Haircut Savings: What’s the bald guy’s favorite holiday? “No-Shave Never!”

10 Funny Facts about Baldness

Here are some funny and interesting facts about baldness.

1. The word bald comes from the Old English “bæld,” meaning “lacking hair.” The jokes write themselves, folks!
2. Bald eagles aren’t actually bald. Even eagles are sensitive about this topic.
3. The average person loses 50-100 hairs a day. For bald people, it’s more like a one-time event!
4. Some ancient civilizations believed baldness was a sign of wisdom. That’s one way to comb over the issue!
5. Men are more likely to go bald than women. Ladies, your secrets are safe with hair.
6. Baldness has its own scientific name: “Alopecia.” Sounds like a tropical island, but nope!
7. Bald men are often perceived as more dominant. Yes, they literally “head” the table.
8. The first comb-over dates back to the Roman Emperor Julius Caesar. Et tu, hairline?
9. Some studies suggest bald men are more successful. Cue the shiny success montage!
10. There’s a Bald and Free Day celebrated on October 14th. Mark your bald calendars!

Final Thoughts

We hope these bald jokes brought a smile to your face! If you’re looking for more laughs, be sure to check out our other hilarious collections of anatomy jokes.

Don’t forget to share with your friends and family. Have Fun!